Booker’s Halloween Special 2018

Booker is back! I know I said I was going to update more, but I’ve had my head pretty stuck in Red Dead Redemption 2. Still, I can’t forget Halloween, much like how I can’t forget Booker. The two of them go hand in hand, probably, so here you go.

While it’s not necessary, you might enjoy this more if you read the first two parts that you can find here and here.


BOOKER: For fuck sake, Howard, I told you I’m not reviewing this shit any more. Not reviewing any shit. Done. Period.

HAROLD: My name’s Harold, not Howard.

BOOKER: I honestly don’t give a shit.

HAROLD: Come on, Booker! You’re the best in the business at this stuff! A living legend! Everyone loves you! Even I love you.

BOOKER: Please, Harold, spare me. I know full well that I have zero profile. I’m not falling for your usual attempts to stroke my ego so that you can trick me into reviewing some garbage. Unpaid reviews for garbage, I might add.

HAROLD: I’ve told you before, the cheques are in the post, Booker!

BOOKER: They’re always in the fucking post, Harold. Done with it. Not bothered.

BOOKER: There. Do it yourself.

HAROLD: Booooooooooooker 😦

BOOKER: Look, Howard. I’ll be honest with you, you kinda fucked this whole review dealio up when you got me this pub to build.

HAROLD: In that case, you should be grateful to me!

BOOKER: Yeah, Howard, but you know I don’t believe in gratitude.

HAROLD: I demand that you review these cards!

BOOKER: Hey, Harold. You want to know the best thing about the pub?


BOOKER: There’s only one glass, so I don’t have to drink with you.

BOOKER: S’inabit.

HAROLD: Shit. 😦


what the fuck is this shit D:

FENCEBOT: Um, you asked for, well, lodging, my lord?

yes but the box is too small 😑

FENCEBOT: That, may be, the, uh, case, but, I’ve been assured, that it’s, Halloween, well, magic shit.

but the box is too fukken small and it doesn’t even look like a house fencebot you fukk 😑

FENCEBOT: I promise, my lord, this, uh, is the, well, Haunted House Lego set, that you asked for, specifically.

well ok fencekunt but if ur wrong it’s not ur head on the line >:)

ill just burn this lil cats face off if its yet another fence fukk up >:D

FENCEBOT: Please, Lord, no!

good ur scared shitless XD

let the building commence πŸ™‚


hoobity boobity hoo


sigh 😦

okay fencebot the cat is fukken dyin 😑

FENCEBOT: No, wait! This isn’t actually so, uh, bad, my lord.

FENCEBOT: Look, this thing, it’s kinda, uh, nice?

FENCEBOT: There’s totally, a haunted house, um, here! It’s just, in the, distance! Um, see?

FENCEBOT: And you get a, um, cauldron, too?

no fencebot, this is a piece of shit :/

i dont want no distant house. it’s just fukken tiny bricks! >:|

look at this superficial bullshit 😑

the cat fukken dies πŸ™‚


oh shit guess my magic doesn’t work against cats 😦

well that’s frustrating 😑

what the fukk am i supposed to kill now DX

BOOKER: Oi, what’s all this racket?

target acquired >:D

BOOKER: Eh? Who the fuck are you?

double hoolae

BOOKER: What the fuck what was that?

my magic doesn’t work on people either >:?

BOOKER: Did you build that piece of shit over there?

this is fukken BULLSHIT D:<

FENCEBOT: I’ll, handle this, my Lord.

FENCEBOT: Greetings, uh, mortal. We’re, the, um, well, League of, uh, Extraordinary, Bastards?

BOOKER: You use way too many commas.

FENCEBOT: I, uh, know that, I’m Fencebot, it’s kind of, my, thing, I guess.

BOOKER: I thought your thing would be fencing. Also, being a robot.

FENCEBOT: Yeah, well, I, um, don’t really do, either of those, uh, things?

enough of this fukken malarky 😑

hoolae hoolae hoolae

BOOKER: Yeah, I don’t really think that’s working, mate.

fuuuuuuuukk :((

HAROLD: What’s all this racket?

ACE BANANA: Yeah, we’re trying to review some cards over here, bro!

BOOKER: The banana? You got the fucking banana back? Seriously?

HAROLD: I didn’t have many options, alright?

excuse me 😑

ACE BANANA: Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?

excuuuuuuuuse me >:((

BOOKER: It means that you’re a fucking shitter and that nobody likes you.

ACE BANANA: Oh. Well, alrighty then!

i am your fukken LORD and i will be pandered to >:|

BOOKER: Alright, well, I’m going back into the pub. I was just about to beat one of those generic Lego dudes at pool. Fencebot, you coming with?

FENCEBOT: Uh, really?

you will not steal my peon D:<

BOOKER: Shut the fuck up, I’m speaking to Fencebot.

BOOKER: Sure. You’re a robot, so you’re not going to be stealing my drink. Plus, you probably got a mechanical mind or some shit, so you can figure out the perfect angle for my pool shots.

FENCEBOT: But, I’m, not, really, a, um, robot.


BOOKER: Right. You’re not invited then.

BOOKER: Make sure you take that ugly piece of shit away before you leave.

BOOKER: Byeeeeee.

ACE BANANA: I love Booker! He’s such a nice guy!

HAROLD: Hey, Fencebot.

FENCEBOT: Uh, yeah?

HAROLD: You want a job reviewing some cards or whatever?

stop trying to steal my shit!! 😑

FENCEBOT: Um, I mean, sure, I guess. My Lord is, kind of a jerk, and it turns out that, well, he can’t, really, hurt me, so?

HAROLD: Good. Ace, you’re fired.


HAROLD: Come on, Fencebot. Let’s see if we can’t somehow limit your overwhelming supply of commas.

dont you fukken DARE fencebot >:|

FENCEBOT: Oh, that’d, be, pretty, sweet, I, uh, guess.

HAROLD: Fuck my life.

what the FLIPPIN FUKK 😑

ACE BANANA: Don’t worry! I’m in the market for a new job! Let’s talk benefits!

oh fukk no 😐 mister you can fukk off >:P

ACE BANANA: Oh come on now, rude guy! Someone’s gonna have to get rid of this piece of shit Lego construction for you!

hmmm πŸ˜•

perhaps ur right πŸ™‚ but we will not get rid of it >:)

we will push it to a nearby secret location and it will serve as our EVIL BASE πŸ˜€

ACE BANANA: Right on, diggity dog!

and then πŸ™‚


he will know my name πŸ™‚Β he will know that … πŸ˜€



FENCEBOT:Β I mean, these are, kind of, uh, cool, I guess?

FENCEBOT:Β They got, uh, all these, people, on ’em? That I’ve, never really, heard of, I suppose?

FENCEBOT:Β And, uh, these construction cards, which seem to require, pretty specific, bricks?

HAROLD:Β You need to work some punch in there.


HAROLD:Β You know, some punch. This is a Halloween special, you really ought to get spooky or something.

FENCEBOT:Β Don’t they, normally do stuff, like, trick or treating, on Halloween specials? I mean, that’s what I, seem to, uh, remember, from my, limited time, with the, uh, television.

HAROLD:Β Yeah, well. Just deliver your final words while wearing this pumpkin.

FENCEBOT:Β Uh, okay. The cards, are, pretty, neat, I guess. Happy, um, Halloween?

HAROLD:Β Fuck sake.



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